Wednesday, October 17, 2012

....and they lived happily ever after.

"Disney movies taught me a wrong image of love!"
That's a sentence I often hear from my friends and actually have used it myself many times.

While listening to "Moonriver" from the movie "Breakfast at Tiffany's", which always reminds me on my childhood dreams, I couldn't help but wonder: Do movies, we have watched as children, really teach us a wrong image of love and life?

I remember my dream as a little girl: I wanted to be a successful business lady, have a wonderful husband and children. But most of all I wanted to have a romantic love, as shown in the Disney movies.
But when I got older I realized that life just isn't a movie and a movie-like love doesn't exist either; instead I accepted reality: my boyfriend wasn't romantic, sweet and understanding and I thought well that's reality.

Of course men are not like the Disney princes and they won't do all of the crazy things men in movies do to win the woman of their heart, but do we have to give up our childhood dreams just because men have forgotten to be gentlemen?

I don't think so! Of course Disney movies will never be reality (thank God, otherwise animals suddenly would start talking!) but a decent amount of romantic should survive in our fast, modern world. Our modern devices, such as Internet, Smartphones and Email easily can kill the old romantic but it's our responsibility to protect it and keep it alive.
We have to be the ones to bring romantic back to 2012, so we don't have to give up our dream of prince charming, the magic kiss and an happy ever after.

So maybe Disney movies teach us an extreme image of love, but the basic idea isn't that wrong: fight for your love and dream. Perhaps that's what Walt Disney really wanted to tell us and perhaps we should start to be a little bit more childish and brave when it comes to love.
As a child in primary school we didn't think a million times about the consequences of a love letter, we simply wrote it. As a child we have been brave, maye sometimes too brave and careless but still it's been so much easier. Imagine what love could be like, if you would just have the courage to admit it to the person you love. I guess we would save a lot of time and concern.
For me being brave is very difficult but I promised myself, the next time I start seeing someone and realize that I really like him, I will try to find the courage to tell him; so that the next time won't end like my last date. Putting yourself in the other one's position: it can also be painful to wait for the other one to admit his/her feelings.
That's what happened to me: someone liked me, but I didn't find my courage to tell him, that I loved him too and so it was determined to fail (which it did).

So Disney wasn't that wrong ;)

Moonriver   from Breakfast at Tiffany's

Thursday, October 11, 2012

'Cause love conquers all?

"I would do everything for you!"
That's only one of the many sentences we get to hear in the TV shows and love movies, which makes us believe that it's normal to do everything for the person we love.

But is that true? Do we really have to give up our personal needs, dreams and wishes for the sake of our relationship? 

I experienced how it feels to do everything for the person you love firsthand.
In fact I picked up my ex-boyfriend after work every saturday night at 3 o'clock in the morning, accepting that I could neither sleep nor party out with my friends. 
I didn't go out with my friends because I didn't want him to feel bad, payed everything for him and followed his orders, because I thought that's what you do in a relationship. 
But to be honest he didn't do the same for me. 
And there's the problem. 

The very same thing happened to a friend, who accepted everything her boyfriend did: denying her, screaming at her and constantly telling her what to do. 

We got to talk about this and the fact that actually we should end our relationships, but didn't have the strenght to do so. 

That brought me to another question: Why aren't we ending these obviously bad relationships? Is love or the pure fear of being alone holding us back? 

Now that I ended the relationship and lived alone for 5 months I can answer it: it's the fear.
Of course we are loving the person, but someone, who is not treating us the way we deserve to, is not loving us back, he is just using us. 
Almost every girl has the dream in her head to have a happy family and a beautiful life someday, and facing the fact that the current partner again is not the right person for that is devastating. Still holding on to a nightmare relationship, just to avoid being alone, is the wrong way completely. 
The right person could be waiting right around the corner, but we are wasting our time on someone so not worth it. 

When it comes to me: I can only say, that I already lost someone who could have been the right one, because I hang on to my bad relationship, instead of just trying to make myself happy. 
And that's what we girls should do. The right one is not holding us back from living our dream, getting our dream job or meeting our friends; he is supporting us, just as we support him. 

So go out and make yourself happy, S. 

Decorating style

Fashion can not only be used to decorate yourself, sometimes it's also useful to decorate your home.
I used my headsbands and sunglasses to styleup my bedroom.

Saturday, October 6, 2012

Where's the drama??!

A few months ago I met a very cute guy, who kept sending really sweet messages. But instead of simply smile and be happy about these nice words I did what I always do: I analysed the messages.

Standing in the elevator yesterday listening to two girls taking about a message a girl just got, analysing and dicussing what the guy had send, I realized that I wasn't the only one doing that.
In fact, it seems to be a girly habit to analyse boys messages or words.

So why are we doing that? Do we simply want to read (after hours of analysing) what we really want to hear, or is it that we can't accept the fact that men simply don't think that much about what they text?

I remember this one time, that I told my ex-boyfriend what I interpreted in his message and his only answer was: well, I answered you while I was sitting on the toilett.
That's an ugly truth hitting your face but that's how it is: men don't think much about what they write, the simply answer, without hidden messages. They are not writting a poet that you have to analyse doing your literature class.

But still we girls meet, sit together and discuss every detail the men of our affection did- and I do that myself!
Suddenly the way he entered the room gets interesting and has to be discussed, as well as the tone of his voice when he said "Hello".
We keep rereading messages over and over again, even though they are weeks old and try to find his hidden message, that might say us that he likes us.

So why are we making the situation more complicated than it even is? Do we have to create drama on our own if there is none?

All of these TV shows tell us that there has to be drama around a relationship before there can be an happy end. Imagine Carry and Big, Blair and Chuck or Meredith and Derek without drama! So in our own life, we expect the same.
But do men want all this drama? I guess not... there is a reason why they usually don't like these TV shows. For them life seems to be a little bit easier- they simply answer the messages.

And right now for me, it doesn't sound like a bad idea. Life's complicated enough on it's own and maybe we should lean back and simply smile when we receive the next sweet message. Of course we can talk to the girls about it but overanalysing also kills the sweetness of his words. Sometimes it's much better to keep this super-sweet goodnight message to ourselves.

Oh and how it ended with my cute guy? I overanalysed every detail and finally didn't get sweet messages anymore - and that's how it mostly ends with analyse sessions and creating drama. ;)

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