Thursday, October 11, 2012

'Cause love conquers all?

"I would do everything for you!"
That's only one of the many sentences we get to hear in the TV shows and love movies, which makes us believe that it's normal to do everything for the person we love.

But is that true? Do we really have to give up our personal needs, dreams and wishes for the sake of our relationship? 

I experienced how it feels to do everything for the person you love firsthand.
In fact I picked up my ex-boyfriend after work every saturday night at 3 o'clock in the morning, accepting that I could neither sleep nor party out with my friends. 
I didn't go out with my friends because I didn't want him to feel bad, payed everything for him and followed his orders, because I thought that's what you do in a relationship. 
But to be honest he didn't do the same for me. 
And there's the problem. 

The very same thing happened to a friend, who accepted everything her boyfriend did: denying her, screaming at her and constantly telling her what to do. 

We got to talk about this and the fact that actually we should end our relationships, but didn't have the strenght to do so. 

That brought me to another question: Why aren't we ending these obviously bad relationships? Is love or the pure fear of being alone holding us back? 

Now that I ended the relationship and lived alone for 5 months I can answer it: it's the fear.
Of course we are loving the person, but someone, who is not treating us the way we deserve to, is not loving us back, he is just using us. 
Almost every girl has the dream in her head to have a happy family and a beautiful life someday, and facing the fact that the current partner again is not the right person for that is devastating. Still holding on to a nightmare relationship, just to avoid being alone, is the wrong way completely. 
The right person could be waiting right around the corner, but we are wasting our time on someone so not worth it. 

When it comes to me: I can only say, that I already lost someone who could have been the right one, because I hang on to my bad relationship, instead of just trying to make myself happy. 
And that's what we girls should do. The right one is not holding us back from living our dream, getting our dream job or meeting our friends; he is supporting us, just as we support him. 

So go out and make yourself happy, S. 

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