Wednesday, October 17, 2012

....and they lived happily ever after.

"Disney movies taught me a wrong image of love!"
That's a sentence I often hear from my friends and actually have used it myself many times.

While listening to "Moonriver" from the movie "Breakfast at Tiffany's", which always reminds me on my childhood dreams, I couldn't help but wonder: Do movies, we have watched as children, really teach us a wrong image of love and life?

I remember my dream as a little girl: I wanted to be a successful business lady, have a wonderful husband and children. But most of all I wanted to have a romantic love, as shown in the Disney movies.
But when I got older I realized that life just isn't a movie and a movie-like love doesn't exist either; instead I accepted reality: my boyfriend wasn't romantic, sweet and understanding and I thought well that's reality.

Of course men are not like the Disney princes and they won't do all of the crazy things men in movies do to win the woman of their heart, but do we have to give up our childhood dreams just because men have forgotten to be gentlemen?

I don't think so! Of course Disney movies will never be reality (thank God, otherwise animals suddenly would start talking!) but a decent amount of romantic should survive in our fast, modern world. Our modern devices, such as Internet, Smartphones and Email easily can kill the old romantic but it's our responsibility to protect it and keep it alive.
We have to be the ones to bring romantic back to 2012, so we don't have to give up our dream of prince charming, the magic kiss and an happy ever after.

So maybe Disney movies teach us an extreme image of love, but the basic idea isn't that wrong: fight for your love and dream. Perhaps that's what Walt Disney really wanted to tell us and perhaps we should start to be a little bit more childish and brave when it comes to love.
As a child in primary school we didn't think a million times about the consequences of a love letter, we simply wrote it. As a child we have been brave, maye sometimes too brave and careless but still it's been so much easier. Imagine what love could be like, if you would just have the courage to admit it to the person you love. I guess we would save a lot of time and concern.
For me being brave is very difficult but I promised myself, the next time I start seeing someone and realize that I really like him, I will try to find the courage to tell him; so that the next time won't end like my last date. Putting yourself in the other one's position: it can also be painful to wait for the other one to admit his/her feelings.
That's what happened to me: someone liked me, but I didn't find my courage to tell him, that I loved him too and so it was determined to fail (which it did).

So Disney wasn't that wrong ;)

Moonriver   from Breakfast at Tiffany's

Thursday, October 11, 2012

'Cause love conquers all?

"I would do everything for you!"
That's only one of the many sentences we get to hear in the TV shows and love movies, which makes us believe that it's normal to do everything for the person we love.

But is that true? Do we really have to give up our personal needs, dreams and wishes for the sake of our relationship? 

I experienced how it feels to do everything for the person you love firsthand.
In fact I picked up my ex-boyfriend after work every saturday night at 3 o'clock in the morning, accepting that I could neither sleep nor party out with my friends. 
I didn't go out with my friends because I didn't want him to feel bad, payed everything for him and followed his orders, because I thought that's what you do in a relationship. 
But to be honest he didn't do the same for me. 
And there's the problem. 

The very same thing happened to a friend, who accepted everything her boyfriend did: denying her, screaming at her and constantly telling her what to do. 

We got to talk about this and the fact that actually we should end our relationships, but didn't have the strenght to do so. 

That brought me to another question: Why aren't we ending these obviously bad relationships? Is love or the pure fear of being alone holding us back? 

Now that I ended the relationship and lived alone for 5 months I can answer it: it's the fear.
Of course we are loving the person, but someone, who is not treating us the way we deserve to, is not loving us back, he is just using us. 
Almost every girl has the dream in her head to have a happy family and a beautiful life someday, and facing the fact that the current partner again is not the right person for that is devastating. Still holding on to a nightmare relationship, just to avoid being alone, is the wrong way completely. 
The right person could be waiting right around the corner, but we are wasting our time on someone so not worth it. 

When it comes to me: I can only say, that I already lost someone who could have been the right one, because I hang on to my bad relationship, instead of just trying to make myself happy. 
And that's what we girls should do. The right one is not holding us back from living our dream, getting our dream job or meeting our friends; he is supporting us, just as we support him. 

So go out and make yourself happy, S. 

Decorating style

Fashion can not only be used to decorate yourself, sometimes it's also useful to decorate your home.
I used my headsbands and sunglasses to styleup my bedroom.

Saturday, October 6, 2012

Where's the drama??!

A few months ago I met a very cute guy, who kept sending really sweet messages. But instead of simply smile and be happy about these nice words I did what I always do: I analysed the messages.

Standing in the elevator yesterday listening to two girls taking about a message a girl just got, analysing and dicussing what the guy had send, I realized that I wasn't the only one doing that.
In fact, it seems to be a girly habit to analyse boys messages or words.

So why are we doing that? Do we simply want to read (after hours of analysing) what we really want to hear, or is it that we can't accept the fact that men simply don't think that much about what they text?

I remember this one time, that I told my ex-boyfriend what I interpreted in his message and his only answer was: well, I answered you while I was sitting on the toilett.
That's an ugly truth hitting your face but that's how it is: men don't think much about what they write, the simply answer, without hidden messages. They are not writting a poet that you have to analyse doing your literature class.

But still we girls meet, sit together and discuss every detail the men of our affection did- and I do that myself!
Suddenly the way he entered the room gets interesting and has to be discussed, as well as the tone of his voice when he said "Hello".
We keep rereading messages over and over again, even though they are weeks old and try to find his hidden message, that might say us that he likes us.

So why are we making the situation more complicated than it even is? Do we have to create drama on our own if there is none?

All of these TV shows tell us that there has to be drama around a relationship before there can be an happy end. Imagine Carry and Big, Blair and Chuck or Meredith and Derek without drama! So in our own life, we expect the same.
But do men want all this drama? I guess not... there is a reason why they usually don't like these TV shows. For them life seems to be a little bit easier- they simply answer the messages.

And right now for me, it doesn't sound like a bad idea. Life's complicated enough on it's own and maybe we should lean back and simply smile when we receive the next sweet message. Of course we can talk to the girls about it but overanalysing also kills the sweetness of his words. Sometimes it's much better to keep this super-sweet goodnight message to ourselves.

Oh and how it ended with my cute guy? I overanalysed every detail and finally didn't get sweet messages anymore - and that's how it mostly ends with analyse sessions and creating drama. ;)

Thursday, September 13, 2012

Shopping hopping places all over

Looking for one-of-a-kind treasures 

This summer I spent two weeks with my friend Len in Itlay, in these little cute villages in Tuscany. Of course the food in Italy is wonderful, healthy and absolutely tasty, but what I love most are the little markets in every village.
They are a tradition in Italy and it's the perfect place to find one-of-a-kind treasures. I just love to look at every stall and search for something interesting. I am a huge fan of vintage, because it's simply gives you the possibility to have something special and unique. Nowadays it seems like every city around the world has the same stores (H&M; Zara etc), but these markets are different and original. The merchants have a connection with their goods and even know a little story to tell about them and you have the chance to bargain over the price.

I can only advise everyone to take a stroll over one of these markets, get enchanted by the history-charged treasures and find your personal hoard.

Thursday, August 9, 2012

Shopping? I don't think so!

<p>Well I guess most ladies of you know the situation: you've got all your money together to go shopping! <br>
Since months wa had been planning this day: we had saved our money, found the perfect day, planned the route and gathered the best team! Everything was settled for the big day! <br>
And everything started perfectly: all of us( my friend M., her friend L., and my friends P.and D.) found what we were looking for. D even survived Primark with 4 crazy girls and carried our shopping bags. After 5 hard hours of shopping and 5 bags for me alone we decided it was time to bring our bags to the car and quickly buy the last stuff before we would move on to the next city. <br>
I think we left the unattended for about 40 minutes...when we came back the first thing I recognized the glas on my seat. While I was wondering where the glas came from I noticed my missing shopping bags and D.'s missing bag. With another look I saw that someone had broken the window and had stolen all I had bought! <br>
Luckily he didn't seem to have time to have time to steel the rest, he even forgot my ipod, which lay on the seat.
So we called the police, but all the friendly voice on the phone told me was: come to the station....well thanks a lot. While cleaning my car from the glas, a not so friendly homeless yelled at us and threatened us to call the police. Well all I can say is: go to the office, they are not willing to come!
After spending hours at the station, the result was: we would never get our money back and the only thing that could help me now was sushi!
In conclusion I have to say: never leave anything in your car!
And somehow I also got an happy end: my lovely dad gave me some money back so I could buy some new stuff ;)
But my heart will never forget the guy who ruined my special shopping day!

Thursday, July 26, 2012

I'm wondering...

Facebook couples

Lately, while scrolling down my facebook news, I recognize that more and more couples seem to spread there love life on facebook. They are posting thousands of photos, love messages and wall posts, as if they don't have another way to contact each other. 

Now in me the question grew if that's really neccessary. Why are they doing that? 
Do they really have to show the whole world how happy they are or do they simply want to torture us singles by sprawling there amorousness? 

I remember the times of loveletters and spoken words on the phone and no one had to know how much I loved my partner. Love was a private thing, a gift between two people alone. The pictures we took were for us and not for the whole world to see. 
Now loveletters are an old relict and mostly forgotten, a wall post has taken it's role. 
Well yes, it's not that much work. A love letter had to be planned wisely. You needed good paper, a good pencil and you took your time to find the right words. So in the end a love letter really expressed your feelings and meant something, because you put your efford in it. 
A wall post takes about one minute, which doesn't really mean efford to me. 
In the end you can't keep your wall post in a box under your bed, just to reread it after a time and smile again.
Wall posts are public and everyone can read it! Think: how many facebook do you have? Exactly. It's not romantic, it's not love, it's simply showoff, to me. 

No one, especially the singles, don't want to see happy couple photos. We don't want to know how happy you are, because maybe we're just out of an relationship or simply don't find the right one. So everytime we see these pictures, we are reminded of your situation. I'm not saying that singles are unhappy, not at all (I'm not ;) )  but too much love can make us sick. 

Facebook also can make relationships really complicated. I don't know how many fights I had because of facebook. It allows you to keep track of everything your partner does or who he knows. But do we really want that? In a relationship we're still two different individuals getting together, so we still should have our own life, without our partner. 

Perhaps my point of view is vintage but I really liked love letters and maybe it's time to just sit down and write one, instead of posting some shit on facebook just to make everyone know what's on your mind. 

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